Carrie Fisher
Yes, yesterday, December 27, 2016, a very difficult year for many reasons, I was finishing breakfast, ready to start working on a task that I must have ready before returning from the December holidays, when suddenly my wife came out of her room, saw me and said: "Carrie Fisher has died."
We had spent the last few days hoping that her health situation would improve after she suffered a heart attack and together with millions of fans around the world we were waiting for news about her recovery.
Naturally, after they reported that she had been without breathing for 10 minutes we had to be cautious, however such news will never be well received.
The only thing I could do was clench my fists, grit my teeth and groan in pain.
I soon decided to put on the Princess Leia theme composed by John Williams and cried for a while.
I decided not to write anything on social media and just wear black, I also wore black to go out to eat and decided to go to Fantastico Comics to buy comics that had Princess Leia on the cover as I have done since 1994.
I did all this with my heart heavy with pain and sadness.
I started reading tweets from Carrie Fisher's actors and colleagues like Mark Hamill and J.J. Abrahams and I read the text that my good friend and Fisher ultra-fan, Jorge Avila wrote to express his sadness and admiration for the Californian actress.
I myself am surprised time and again by the strong emotional bond I developed with icons of the big screen who have been part of my development and growth as a person without them having the slightest idea of my existence,of course.
With the reflection inherent to psychological therapy I have realized that my generation grew up with a strong influence of cinema and television.
We were among the first generations to be able to watch a particular film as many times as we wanted thanks to the wonderful video cassette players.
I suppose that caused certain faces to become more familiar to my generation than any other before because we could see them constantly in our living rooms, a very different case from previous generations who were forced to go to the cinema sporadically to see their idols on the big screen.
I had access to a Video Center, a Video Vision (video rental shops) and to my pirate neighbor Doña Berta and her immense collection of pirated films.
By the time I was 10, I already had access to thousands of titles that made the faces of Gene Wilder, Terence Hill and Bud Spencer, Mel Brooks, Leslie Nielsen, Michael Keaton and Harrison Ford familiar. I was also able to appreciate the beauty of actresses like Sharon Tate, Phoebe Cates, Teri Garr, and of course Carrie Fisher.
They all saw me grow up (not much) and became my friends in a one-way relationship, which enriched me emotionally and I suppose enriched them a little monetarily.
Being a Star Wars fan I always liked to recognize the actors from the saga acting in other movies. I don't know why, but I liked to feel that they were not only famous for SW but that they were good actors, capable of doing other things.
As I have always been a fervent follower of the comedy genre I soon discovered a combination of factors that made Carrie Fisher very attractive to me.
In "Over the Rainbow" from 1981 she appears with Chevy Chase in what is a crazy comedy and for some strange reason this movie has a scene in which Carrie ends up in her underwear.
Something very captivating for me at the tender age of 12 or 13.
Then I saw The Man with the Red Shoe from 1985 with Tom Hanks and James Belushi and again Carrie appears in her underwear.
If we add to this the metal Bikini from Return of the Jedi, a pattern begins to emerge.
Carrie Fisher liked to act in comedies and with little clothing. Excellent combination.
To finish quickly, from her suggestive proposal to Warren Beatty's character in Shampoo in 1975 until well into the nineties when she made small cameos like the one in Soapdish in 1991 always looking sexy and determined, Carrie Fisher was always for me the model of a woman to follow: strong, confident, funny, intelligent and very sexy.
Over the Rainbow (1981), The Man with the Red Shoe (1985) and Soap Dish (1991)
Later I discovered that she played Elizabeth in Frankenstein alongside Robert Powell as the Doctor and David Warner as the monster in a television adaptation that was quite faithful to Mary Shelley's novel. In this film Fisher wears tight corsets that reinforced my image of her as an extremely attractive and sensual actress.
It was in 1994 thanks to the Star Wars Galaxy collection of Topps cards that I came across a card of Princess Leia wearing the famous metal bikini and that image completely rekindled my interest in both Fisher and SW.
The card that caused my obsession. At that time I became part of the group of young people who, having seen Return of the Jedi in their teens, came across the fabulous world of the aesthetics of the female body thanks to the bold imagination of George Lucas and the slender body of Carrie Fisher and her metal bikini.
I was not part of that group from the beginning, since I was only 6 years old when Return of the Jedi was released. It was not until 1994, in Felix Cuevas' Comicastle store, that I joined that select group of men and women who succumbed to the strong, sensual and captivating image of Princess Leia in her slave costume.
Years later, in the television series FRIENDS, we would corroborate the strong impact that Carrie Fisher and her iconic bikini had on an entire generation, when Ross' character asks Rachel to dress up as slave Leia to fulfill one of her deepest sexual fantasies. Jennifer Aniston's character agrees, and thus one of the most representative scenes of the series came to life, which came to justify and reaffirm that our obsession with Leia was natural and necessary.
Around 1998 I had a girlfriend who I managed to convince to dress up as the princess, but only to go to a comic book convention (no funny business).
Clear example of the legacy. Later, when my Star Wars toy collection got out of control, I decided to sell a large part of that collection and only kept the princesses. Naturally, I still have them. Along with R2D2, Leia is my favorite character from the saga.
Reading comics and novels from the Expanded Universe, I came to love the character even more. I found her tragic, sad, but always very strong.
So I started to download as many photos of the princess as I could get in those early days of the Internet.
We Internet users discovered those wonderful photos from Rolling Stone magazine where she appears on a beach in her metallic bikini accompanied by other characters from the saga and photos of her dressed in the also iconic Playboy bunny suit when she participated in an episode of the series Shirley and Laverne.
How good she looks!
I also started reading the novels that Carrie Fisher wrote. Around that time, I picked up Postcards from the Edge and I was amused, although I probably didn't understand it, because when I was older I read it again and discovered a sense of humor like few others.
So now Carrie Fisher was not only the sexual symbol of my erotic awakening, but now she was stimulating another part of my anatomy that she was very good at stimulating: my brain.
I have a very select collection of quotable quotes by Carrie Fisher.
I think my favorite, because I use it a lot, is:
"Things are deteriorating faster than I can lower my expectations."
No way, it's absolutely brilliant, I love that quote and I use it constantly (unfortunately).
Another of her famous quotes that I admire a lot because it had a strong impact on me when I read it for the first time was:
"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
Distilled wisdom wrapped in fine humor.
In 2004 I had the opportunity to attend Comic Con in San Diego and there I had the opportunity to meet her in person and express my admiration.
When I told her I was from Mexico she said a series of words in Spanish, something like: Me llamo Carrie, hola mi amigo, I love Mexican food. Naturally she made me laugh and I adored her even more for that. At that time Gary, her Bulldog, was not yet on the list, if I remember correctly, her pet at that time was a parrot that drank Coca Cola, I don't remember its name.
Something that must be recognized is that she always treated fans with a lot of respect and affection although she affectionately called us her merry band of stalkers.
How can we not remember when she fought with her friend William Shatner on the Internet about which franchise was more successful, Star Trek or Star Wars.
The interview that Kevin Smith did with her or when she roasted Lucas when he was given his award for achievements in his career at the AFI (American Film Institute).
When she finally gave Chewie her medal at the MTV movie awards it was wonderful.
There is plenty of interesting material about Carrie Fisher on Youtube.
You need to watch her "one woman show" based on her novel Wishful drinking to understand where so much charm and at the same time so much suffering came from.
The truth is that it was fabulous to follow her adventures and I will always feel good about myself for having been able to value her intelligence, recognize her courage, enjoy her humor and obsess over her beauty.
At 60 years old she may not have many film roles left in her future, what is clear is that we will no longer be able to be dazzled by her wisdom and sense of humor in novels that will no longer be.
We lost a brave, wise, intelligent and hilarious woman.
I will adore her and miss her forever.
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